Handicaps - the ultimate test of vanity?

IN the offices of NCG we have our very own handicap board. It is, as you might imagine, the source of much amusement, controversy and interest.

It is regulated by Editor Dan Murphy and, it has to be said amid all the complaints, he is as honest as he is a fine judge of ability (although to be cut five strokes in one fell swoop is surely harsh?).

The handicap committee sat over the weekend after plenty of action on the course in various parts of the country produced some surprising scoring.

Feature writer Mark Townsend, usually off around 10 depending on the smoothness of his putting stroke, breezed his way around two lengthy courses in little more than three over. he then popped down to the 2010 course at Celtic Manor and hit the ball so far he had caused the design team to rethink some of the holes (that statement is, remarkably, not entirely without truth).

Others played moderately while the previous Thursday's regular match at Howley Hall had required the tweaking of a couple of more employees.

Thus, the composition of new handicap board was eagerly anticipated. It got me thinking, why?

Is it because people are desperate to get a few more strokes and help to victory the next time we play at Howley? or do they want to see their handicap fall in recognition (granted, merely in the mind of Dan, the strongest player - off two) that they are improving?

Do some people want to be recognised as the best, or second best player? Do others dread being recognised as the worst?

I concluded that I could make no firm or accurate conclusions. The best I could do was think that everyone was different (hardly an earth-shattering revelation) and that different people had different motivations.

Fascinating stuff though. There is little in golf that isn't, I find.

By Chris Bertram