Mark Townsend on a few dos and donts for the coming year to make everyone's round more enjoyable
1) Repair your pitchmarks. It's really not difficult to see where your ball lands so do a bit of gardening when you arrive on the green. It will literally take five seconds and we'll all reap the benefits. Those little signs reading 'USGA tests show a pitchmark not repaired in the first 24 hours....' aren't there for a laugh. And if you're feeling extravagant why not even repair a second one.
2) Purchase some tees. Let's be honest, they're not exactly expensive so make sure you're well stocked up, not just for your next round but the ones after that. It's not the biggest crime in the world but it does tend to grate a little when your playing partners are constantly turning to you, with their hand held out, requesting another 'long one'.
3) Enjoy yourselves. There really is nothing worse than spending four hours of your precious leisure time with a monosyllabic misery. We're all there to play well, but have a bit of a laugh at the same time. So if you're one of the club's sulkers do everything in your powers to amend your ways. Or you may be faced with a complete lack of playing partners and that's even less fun.
4) Play a provisional. With a card in your hand the last thing you want to do is play three off the tee but it's better than having a 200-yard walk back to the tee with the group behind watching your every move. If your drive disappears into knee-high rough don't kid yourself you'll relocate it, have a bit of dignity and play a second ball. You never know, you may find the first anyway.
5) Sort the strokes out. If you don't like the number of shots you or your playing partners are receiving then air your grievances on the first tee and, once it's agreed, keep it buttoned...at least until the clubhouse. There's no crime in an opponent playing well and any silly little mind games to put them off won't make any comeback more impressive. Needless to say cut them next week!
6) Fore right! Few of us stick to the straight and narrow every time so if you see your ball heading straight towards to the fourball up ahead on the next tee give them a bit of warning. It's no excuse to say you thought you couldn't reach them and is more embarrassing to bellow out a couple of shouts than a sheepish apology and dirty looks for the remainder of the round.
7) Join up. If you're out for a quick nine or 18 after work and you see a fellow singleton then pair up. Ok there's a chance it may be one of the longest hours of your life and conversation may never extend beyond where your new 'buddy' lives. However, on the other hand, you may have unearthed your new partner for the Winter Knockout.
8) Shut up. This may well have been your first lesson in etiquette but it still gets broken on a regular basis. Some carry on chatting regardless, others think they're doing you the courtesy by merely whispering when you're preparing to hit your shot. Either way just hush your beak - you're out there for hours so save your vital chat to when you're strolling down the fairways.
9) Pick up. Most of our golf is played in some sort of better-ball format so when you're out of the hole do everyone a favour and put your ball where it belongs. In your pocket. Nobody cares if you can still make an eight net seven if you hole a 30-yard chip so give up and channel your energies towards the next hole.
10) Cough up. If you've had a little side bet on the first tee, then honour it in the clubhouse. If you need to get change at the bar to settle your debts then do so and don't 'suddenly' realise halfway home that you forgot to pay up after a 6 and 5 reversal. Nobody likes asking for money, especially after a resounding win, so be one step ahead of the game and get your hand in your pocket
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